Logical consequences are situations engineered by the person in authority and they are logically connected to the wrong. It is logical because it "fits" the offense. For example, if your teen breaks curfew, he/she isn’t allowed out the next night. If he/she doesn’t eat dinner, he/she doesn’t get dessert. These are examples of negative logical consequences. Setting up a reward system for good grades and giving the reward when the grade is obtained is an example of a positive logical consequence.
Deciding Between Natural or Logical Consequences
When parents want their children to learn from their mistakes, they have the choice of allowing the child to deal with the natural consequences or set up logical consequences. But how do you choose between the two types of consequences? When is one more effective than the other?
When natural consequences are immediate they are very effective. If your teen touches a hot pot, he/she will get burned and is not likely to do that again. Many times, however, natural consequences are not immediate or are too dangerous to allow. Running into the street without looking does not always have immediate consequences. Either does not wearing a seat belt when driving. Both actions, though, could have dire natural consequences that no one wants. Therefore, the natural consequences aren’t what a parent should use to teach their teen the responsibility of their own safety and it is up to the parents to sort out a logical consequence that will promote the desired behavior – in this instance not running into the street without looking or wearing a seatbelt.
Another instance of when logical consequences will be more effective than natural consequences is while your teen is getting a high school education. The benefits of good grades in school are so far off into the future that teens do not fully comprehend them. While your teen can repeat what he/she has been told: ‘good grades will get you into a good college and you’ll make more money’, until he/she sees the type of job or paycheck a college education can get, he/she will not understand the difference. Logical consequences, including rewards for good grades and privileges taken for poor grades work best as your teen can fully understand these.
There are times when the natural consequence is the better choice for the parent to make. One excellent example is when your teen is dating or making friends. Finding out what type of person your teen wants to be with and how your teen wants to be treated is going to be his/her choice. Dating or making friends with someone who isn’t his/her type is going to show that to him/her. Barring any mistreatment from a friend or a date, parents will need to hold their tongue and refrain from giving their opinions in order to let the natural consequences – positive or negative – happen.
Discipline choices are never easy. Hopefully knowing the difference between natural and logical consequences will help you make the right choices for you and your teen.
The Difference Between Natural And Logical Consequences
Natural Consequences
The environment provides a consequence without the need for parental intervention. Example: a child breaks a favorite toy by mishandling it. The consequence is an automatic outcome of the child’s actions as long as the parent does not interfere or “fix” the situation. Of course the parent can be sympathetic and use listening skills if appropriate.
Logical Consequences
These are used when the natural consequence is unacceptable (such as a young child being hit by a car due to running into the street) or when there is no natural consequence (such as a child tracking mud on a floor you just cleaned). In these cases, the parent provides a consequence.
The Three R’s of Logical Consequences
• Reasonable
• Respectful
• Related
THE THREE R'S OF LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES:
The Three R's of Logical Consequences
Danny is the first one to get irate when a classmate denies that he was tagged during their recess game. But then, when Danny gets tagged, he refuses to freeze, ignoring the rules. Sore feelings result unless Danny gets his way. The next time the teacher notices this happen, she calls Danny over. "Take a break," she tells him.
"What did I do?" he cries.
"I want you to watch the game and tell me what you see happen when people are tagged. And tell me the rule."
Danny goes over to the fence and sinks to the ground, covering his face with his hands, refusing to watch. The teacher ignores him and continues to observe the game. After a while Danny picks up his head and starts to watch.
"Teacher, can I go back now," he calls.
"Not yet," she replies. "You need to do your research first."
"If you get tagged, you freeze," he reports quickly. "But I didn't…"
"More research," the teacher says. "I don't see anyone else arguing. So, what are they doing?"
Eventually, Danny finds the words and shows he knows the correct behavior for the game.
"Tomorrow," the teacher tells him, "I want you to model for us the 'taggers' choice rule,' okay?" Then she adds, "When everyone follows the rules, what happens to the game?"
"It's more fair, "Danny admits.
"Yes. It's more fair." The teacher nods. In this way, Danny was held to the rules, was not allowed to intimidate others, and also remained engaged in the process. Logical consequences were implemented.
LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES
Children can be counted on to forget the rules. At times, they might even choose not to follow them when impulse and immediate gratification hold sway -- to take another run around the playground; to dawdle their way to a lesson; to pass a note; to make a rude gesture; or to use feet, not words, to settle a dispute. When a reminder fails to redirect behavior, teachers using a Responsive Classroom™ approach and implement logical consequences.
Logical consequences, as discussed in the last article, are ways in which adults structure learning opportunities for children when natural consequences pose too much harm. The goal is to help children recover their self-controls and, with guidance, make constructive choices -- choices that help preserve the integrity of the individual and of the community.
A logical consequence generally has two steps. The first step is to stop the misbehavior. The second step is to provide an action that recalls children to the rules, reinstates the limits, and teaches alternative behaviors.
'Logical consequences' is a strategy that seeks to help children learn from their mistakes. In my experience, children are more apt to learn from mistakes when adults implement consequences with respect and firmness. How we approach children when they mess-up matters. In the Responsive Classroom approach, we advocate using criteria we title, "the three R's."
Logical consequences are respectful, relevant, and realistic.
Respectful
Respect is conveyed through words and nonverbal gestures.
• Use a normal tone of voice. Avoid sarcasm
• Speak directly and quietly to the student. Whenever possible, avoid calling across a room or raising your voice.
• Focus on the deed and not on the doer. Convey the message that it is the behavior you object to, not the student.
• Be clear and firm and don't negotiate.
"You need to leave the circle now," gives a precise direction. "You were talking and jabbing your pencil, etc. etc. etc" gives too much information, and opens the teacher up to argument: "I was not…He was too.."
Relevant
A consequence needs to be logically related to the students' actions.
• It helps children see a cause and effect. (For example, when you talk, your work doesn't get done.)
• It references the rules. ("What do our rules say about name-calling?")
• It focuses on the specific problems created when rules are broken. ("When you tell me you're going to the bathroom and instead you fool around in the hall, what happens to our trust?")
• It focuses on individual responsibility and accountability for helping preserve a safe learning community. (A student ignores the signal for quiet and keeps on talking with a neighbor. The teacher points out that the signal is a way to make sure everyone can receive directions quickly. It keeps everyone safe. Thus this student needs to see that his or her behavior is not responsible. The teacher implements a short time-out period for the student to recover controls and observe the limits. Later, the teacher perhaps will arrange a practice time so the student can return to the group and show by hid or her actions the "signal" procedures.)
Realistic
A consequence should be something the teacher and student can follow through on.
• There is a reasonable follow-through action expected by the student. (A student who is not looking where he or she is going spills paint all over the floor. The student will help clean it up, but is not expected to mop the entire class, the hall, and the lunchroom as well.)
• There is a clear time frame that is appropriate to the developmental age of the student and the behaviors of the student. (A two-minute time out might or might not give a student time to recover controls. If the student returns to the group before he or she has truly regulated the behavior or while he or she is still pouting and angry, it is likely the misbehaviors will quickly resume.)
• Time frame makes sense -- it is not too long and thus harsh, or too short and thus ineffective. (A student sent on an errand gets caught playing with the water fountain in the hall. The student loses the privileges of running errands for a few days or the rest of the week -- depending on the behavior, prior experience, and so on -- but not for a month or forever!) Remember, children need on-going opportunities to learn from their mistakes, develop their self-controls, and regain trust.
• The teacher is prepared to follow-through and implement. (Told that homework that isn't handed in has to be made up after school or before school begins, teachers need to check the homework and reinforce expectations, as well as be realistic about their own time availability and parent communication. No empty threats!)
In sum, logical consequences applied with respect, relevancy, and realistic guidelines help children understand the consequences of their own choices and, hopefully, help them learn from their mistakes.
Action Point
When a child misbehaves, it causes irritation—low level anger. At first, a parent usually gives a verbal warning or instruction. If the child continues to misbehave, the parent’s level of anger rises until the parent takes action. The level of irritation or anger that causes a person act is called the action point. This process is graphed below.
Many parents only take action when anger is at a fairly high level. This usually results in ineffective action. Often this process is characterized by repeated warnings such as “How many times have I told you...” or “I’ve told you ten times...”. One way to become more effective is to take action earlier — to move your action point down to a lower level of anger.
General Guidelines For Setting Limits
Before you act, decide upon what is most important. Set priorities. Decide what you can and cannot live with. You also need to identify those things you can and cannot control. Once you’ve thought about these issues, use the following steps.
• Recognize the child’s wishes.
o State your limit.
o Focus on one action or behavior at a time.
• Use simple and explicit language.
• Help the child express disappointment.
• Give alternative choices.
• After you have done the above, it is time for ACTION, NOT WORDS.
Be firm and friendly as you do the above. Also keep in mind that you may not need to do every step in a given situation. For example, in a recurring situation you may need only to state your limit, give a choice, then follow through if the child does not comply.
Things to Remember When Setting Limits or Giving Instructions
Use words that are specific and concrete.
Avoid statements that are vague and which do not specify what you want such as: “I want you to be ‘good’”, or “I want you to behave”.
Do be specific and concrete such as: “I want you to walk next to me and look with your eyes, not your fingers.”
Preface limits and instructions with authoritative statements.
Avoid “wishing” and “hoping” such as: “I wish you would take care of your clothes.”
Do state limits as though you really mean them using statements beginning with “I want you to _____”, or “It’s time for you to _____”.
Specify when actions are to be taken.
Avoid open-ended time frames such as: “When you get a chance” or “Some time today.”
Do use words and phrases such as: “now”, “right after dinner”, or “before three o’clock”.
Be authoritative.
Avoid phrasing instructions and limits as questions. These statements imply a choice is available when no choice actually exists such as: “How about turning off the T.V. and coming to dinner?” or “Shall we get ready for bed?”
Do use direct, authoritative statements such as: “It’s time to turn off the TV and come to dinner.”
Give one limit or instruction at a time to children younger than seven.
NEVER precede an instruction or limit with “Let’s” if you have no intention of helping or joining in the activity.
Do limit yourself to two limits or instructions at one time for older children. If you have many things you wish the child to do, make a list.
Give reasons or explanations BEFORE your limits
Avoid explanations that follow limits and instructions because they distract a child’s attention from what you want done to the reason you want it done. Example: “Please pick up your toys; it’s time to go home.”
Do state what you want done last such as: “It’s time to go home; Please pick up your toys.”
Whenever possible, use positive words and phrases to set limits instead of negative words and phrases. Tell the child what to do. Make it clear what act gets approval. A positive direction is less likely to arouse resistance than a negative one. It is constructive rather than limiting and interfering. This also gives children a good social tool to use with their friends. When a child asks, “May I _____?”, if possible, the reply should be, “Yes, just as soon as _____.” Instead of, “No, not until _____.” Avoid, “Would you like to _____?” unless there is a real choice. Here are some examples of how to change negative words and phrases into positive ones.
Negative: “Don’t ride your trike here”
Positive: “Ride the trike on the path.”
Negative: “Don’t climb with that stick.”
Positive: “I’ll hold your stick while you climb.”
Negative: “Don’t sit on the table.”
Positive: “Throw the ball over here.”
Negative: “Don’t put your feet on the table.”
Positive: “Your feet need to be on the floor.”
More Examples:
“I want you to use your soft, indoor or quiet voice.” (Be sure you are using an indoor voice!)
Blocks are for building, and balls are for throwing.”
“In here we walk; you may run outside.”
“Look with your eyes and not with your hands.”
“Look with your eyes and not with your hands.”
“The clock shows it is time to _____.”
“Do you need some help?”
Use as few words as possible. Avoid long explanations as they are rarely needed. Most of the child’s “whys” and “why nots” are simply an attempt to avoid the limit. Many of your decisions are arbitrary—there is nothing wrong with this. Do make explanations short when you feel they are needed such as: “I don’t want to be late so we need to leave now.”
Other examples
My daughter came home and announced that she wanted to get drunk at her 8th grade graduation party. Instead of saying, "Oh no you won't, young lady. You are grounded." I used curiosity questions:
"Tell me more. Why are you thinking of doing that?"
Mary replied, "Other kids do it and it looks like they are having fun."
I continued asking, "What do your friends say about you because you don't drink?"
Mary thought about this and said, "They are always telling me how much they admire me and how proud they are of me."
I then asked, "What do you think they say after you get drunk?"
"Hmmm," she said, "They'll probably be disappointed."
"And," I asked, "How will you feel about yourself?" Again, she took a few seconds to think about this before replying, "I'll probably feel like a loser. I guess I won't do it."
This example illustrates how curiosity questions help children think things through for themselves—a valuable life skill—while building a positive relationship where children know they can come to you and share their thoughts and feelings.
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Discipline: Logical & Natural Consequences
Consequences are outcomes – negative or positive - of a person’s action. By their nature, they gauge our behavior because we as humans strive for positive outcomes or consequences. When dealing with disciplining your teenager, there are two types of consequences that you’ll need to be concerned with: natural and logical. Both of these types can be positive or negative. To help you get a handle of what each type means, I’ll define them and give both a positive and negative example.
Natural consequences occur naturally, hence the name. They are not controlled or manipulated by anyone. When you plant a flower in your garden and take care of it, it grows. That is a positive example of natural consequences. When you put your finger in an electric socket, you get a shock. That is an example of negative natural consequences.
